First of all, I want to apologize for delaying our wine. I should have served it on Monday. I know! But then, our country Kenya, was in the mood for celebration. We have sustained 59years of freedom and that is momentous. Even though we cannot boast of total freedom, I do believe we are not where we were fifty nine years ago and that’s a big deal. I figured that to be a day y’all would want to stay off the sauce. You ask of yesterday, well, Tuesdays are for Bikozulu. In this our world, there’s no competing with Biko. Besides being my teacher, Biko is just Biko. A legend. So, here we are on a Wednesday. Wining. I trust your glasses are clean. If that’s the case, let’s refill and get comfortable.
Now, I have always labelled myself an introvert. No! I’m lying. Hasn’t been always. There are days in the past, before I became fully aware of differences in personalities, when I desired to be more loud, more outgoing and approachable. I wished I could be the life and the soul of the party. But then I discovered the supremacy of being preoccupied with my own thoughts. Of being the observer. My eureka moment happened when Chimamanda spoke about identity. This was not the context but I picked that part where she insisted that “identity shapes the way we interact with the World.” I recognized that much as I’m uncomfortable in a crowd, there are these folks in every crowd who are the yin to my yang. Who, see the low lying extrovert in me and in the right circumstances, they reach in and pull me out and make me comfortable. Soon after, I wanted to be just me. The introvert. I wanted to add hermit to it, in an attempt to show you how much of an introvert I am and can be. So today, as the Elected Representative of the Introverts Fraternity, I have spoken on their behalf. My friend mama Vee, holds a contrary opinion though. She doesn’t think I’m an introvert. In my defense, I will say she found my buttons. She knows how to turn me up. Thing is, extroverts are social beings who can fit everywhere – you all know that by now – whereas, every introvert has an extroverted side which not everyone can access. And that, is our yardstick for measuring special persons in our lives.
The introvert that is me, can get extremely bored, tired and lonely in a crowd. I am that raindrop that’s protesting against joining the Ocean because she will drown. I am that raindrop that falls on the beach, sits on a pebble and worships the Ocean from near by. Finding someone who stirs me; someone who gets to know each tiny cog in me, each tendon and follicle that deserves attention, that someone, is special. They are the water in the river.
Top on that list of my special persons has for long been Mama Vee. She should now know she’s no longer alone. I might be creating a WhatsApp group, you know, to keep it a smooth sailing with them.
Sometime ago, I had a date. Let’s call him Big Mac because I loved it. I loved every crinkle that formed on his face under the unrelenting lustrous LED lights of the restaurant. He also does not believe I’m an introvert. Because when we met, there was hardly an awkward silence between us for the four hours we sat in. The conversations kept flowing in synchrony like shoals of fish. It was a perfect date. Ok! Yes! It’s not often you find a match in your oomph. Before you stop to ask me what a perfect date looks or feels like, I will tell. For me, a perfect date is one in which there’s a lot of uncontrollable jitteriness, expectations, muddled thoughts and sweaty palms prior to meeting your date. You’re concerned about how to dress, what to talk about, what to say and what not to, whether to add concealer or go natural. Generally, you are concerned about impression. You are interested in showing up not only as your best self but also your real self. Then you meet them and the date turns out great. The vibe becomes the icing on the cake. They make you feel at home. You love the energy. This person speaks your language. That in turn generates a feeling of kinship and camaraderie. Time goes by unnoticed because you’re both vibrating on the same wavelength. You are both gelled and levitating at once and want to keep going, because their presence has become part of the happy marrow of your brain. They draw you how you want.
“It’s all in the vibe.” He said.
When the vibe is right, when the vibe is mutual, introverts become extroverted.
Till next week com’s